You want to write better. You want to write more.

Ann Linquist I’m Ann Linquist, freelance writer and online writing instructor.  Whether you’re interested in writing fiction, creative nonfiction, or effective business documents, I invite you to explore this site and find out how to reach your writing goals.

Names that Need Characters to go with Them

Who is:

Wheedle Distromb

Offerlo Spitrip

Sister “Sweetie” Beetiara

Doonuts Rebarb

Klobflots Flabos

Herb Explores the Attic

Herbert gave his lower lip a quick bite, ignoring the way his gum scraped against the braces in his mouth. Something was making a rustling noise behind the grungy old trunk with the elaborate clasps that sat in the corner of the attic. Flakes of dust floated in the one shaft of light coming in from the high ventilation window. He had just enough light to see. Now the rustle turned into a bump. Bump! Bump!

This is only a test.

Your participation is encouraged. The results will be used to tabulate statistics about bad interior decorating ideas, spat inducing potential of answers, and tomato spelling acumen of all online test takers, regardless of your answers, with or without your permission. The questions:

  1. Isn’t anyone going to give me a break?
  2. Am I going to have to separate you two?
  3. Who said?

It has been said that writers are good at making things up. Now we’ll find out. Please submit your short essay on the question of your choice.

Time for More Meaninglessness

You’d think that the quest for meaning would be all encompassing for writers. Perhaps not. I think stretching to find a way to create meaningless phrases is one more way to exercise your lurking creativity.  You’re grabbing far past sense and logic.

Creating meaningless phrases isn’t as easy as you might think. I’ll try a few here, but I’m sure you can do better.

  • Robots scrim novice notebook paper
  • Teabags undercut turquoise sidewalks
  • Run! Sandstorm eats blanket assumptions
  • Gravity overtones grind turkey loaf

Dive in and sequence dance moves in purple.

Are You Still Able to Galumph?

Golden coins

Dental floss

Tire chains

A cabin in the Adirondacks

One squinting eye

Two Lives

We all live two lives. One life is the one where we are social creatures, interacting and being around other people. The other life is the one we have where no one is looking. It’s this second life that intrigues me since there is a definite freedom in being unobserved. We needn’t fear embarrassing ourselves or causing other people to raise their eyebrows and turn away.

I once had a very bad day where every single thing I tried to do fell apart. The computer froze up and stayed frozen all day, a disaster since I work online. The fish I cooked for supper tasted like a kid’s rubber boot left out in the sun. My spouse rather mindlessly suggested that I was never likely to have any meaningful success outside the home (and then he went to bed). I stuffed the disposal full of the coleslaw that neither of us had eaten, and the pipe under the sink exploded, shooting stinky cabbage all over the kitchen floor.

All alone, I carefully picked up a wooden kitchen chair and smashed it against the floor over and over and over until it was in pieces. This is quite out of character for me, since I am a fairly cheerful and nice person but then, I was all alone and fuck that shit!

So here you are, anonymous and posting as a lone human. Tell us about a time you took advantage of the freedom of being alone and did something you would never do in front of other people.

Where Were You in 1970?

I would have picked 1967, but dang, that is such a cliche.  So fill us in on your adventures.  Where were you in 1970?  What were you doing!